The Phsyics of the Quest
I often speak of the work I do with clients as a journey into your interior world.
In fact, as a follow-up to my last blog – Truth and Time Walk Hand in Hand - it takes a true inner journey to trust, be patient, and wait for the truth to unfold.
As I was reflecting on the challenge of this inner journey I walked into the living room and my wife was rewatching Eat Pray Love. Coincidentally, I walked in during the last five minutes to hear this quote again. It’s worth contemplating:
Elizabeth Gilbert
In the end, I’ve come to believe in something I call “The Physics of the Quest.” A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of Quest Physics goes something like this:
If you’re brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments, and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you.
What if…you set-out on a truth-seeking journey?
10 Questions That Can Change Your Life
If you’re like me, you began asking questions when you were a toddler. You may have even become a bit obsessed about the questions, to the chagrin of those around you. Behavioral scientists tell us that continuing to ask questions as adults keep our minds nimble; while also fostering other multiple benefits.
It’s a bold premise to say that asking questions can change your life. Yet, I believe that being a learner makes a person more aware, more interesting, and certainly someone other people might enjoy being with – whether our family members, friends, or co-workers.
If you want to be a better person to be around – and certainly a healthier one – consider asking these ten questions. The process of answering them is probably even more important than your answers. So, why not ask yourself one question a day?
1. What questions am I asking myself? This is not a mind trick or simple redundancy. It is an important part in maintaining authenticity. This practice builds an alert, thoughtful consciousness and deciphers information that is most needed in our personal development. Ask this one frequently.
2. What’s not working? We have a profound capacity to do the same things repeatedly expecting different results; the common definition of “insanity.” By asking this question we can get closer to the root cause of behaviors or attitudes that don’t serve us well.
3. For what am I grateful? This begins with facing the eliminating belief that venting and complaining is somehow a helpful way to cope with frustration. The alternative response would be to take the quantum leap in another direction: focus on the people and things for which we are most grateful. In fact, keep a gratitude journal. Studies are in, telling ourselves a positive story changes our perception.
4. How am I accepting “what is”? We get to choose how we see and classify the things we do as well as our experiences. We get to decide our perspectives and if we cast a positive or negative light on something. We can look beyond the surface of any given situation and decide rather than asking “Why me?” we can make the choice to accept things that we cannot control and subsequently, learn from them.
5. What do I bring to my world? Not only do we matter but each one of us fulfills a unique purpose. “What do I want it to be?” Whether you can clearly articulate your purpose or it is vague, keep asking the question. Your vision will become clearer and you will live with clarity of purpose and conviction.
6. How am I smiling (laughing, having fun, finding humor, living joyfully)? For some odd reason children are allowed to have fun but adults have adopted a more banal existence. We don’t have to be a walking comedy shtick but we can begin by not taking ourselves so seriously and laughing more. We can look for things that are funny and then try something novel, just laugh!
7. Where am I wrong? One of the greatest favors we can do ourselves is to admit that we are wrong. Our ego will work tirelessly to convince us otherwise and pump counterfeit excuses for our oft-ignorant conclusions or behavior. Not only is it freeing to admit it, but we will gain respectability by sharing how we are, or may be, wrong than by insisting how right we think we may be.
8. What do I do with my memories? In the span of our life memories will inspire or stymie us. Ironically, the choice of their impact is ours. In each present moment we can let a moment in the past be a memory to honor and celebrate, or from which to learn. We just don’t get the moment back. Carry the memories. Make the choice to live in the present moment.
9. What boundaries do I need to set and enforce? Boundaries are imaginary lines that help us protect ourselves both physically and emotionally; helping us stand up for ourselves and stopping us from agreeing to do things we really don’t want to do. Setting boundaries is about deciding what we will and won’t tolerate any longer in our life, and then communicating this firmly and consistently whenever we need to.
10. What sacred cows are worth challenging? It’s one thing to break a rule, it’s quite another to challenge a sacred cow – something immune from criticism or question. Throughout history sacred cows were challenged, often bringing pain and persecution to the questioner. Yet, in the end, we experience levels of freedom from many of the tyrannies associated with situational sacred cows. Ask the question respectfully and see what happens.
What if…we spent some time asking ourselves these questions?
Who’s Watching the Margins?
The current economic status of most organizations and households has given a new perspective on the importance of margins. Barely a week goes by when a conversation doesn’t include some reference to how all of us are managing the new reality of lower margins. Therefore, we measure the margins, control the margins, manage the margins, hold people accountable to the margins, blah, blah, blah!
There is a margin few people talk about! 
The margin of our time; that’s right, very rarely do we give any attention to the margins of our time.
What our culture celebrates, either consciously or subconsciously are busy, jam-packed schedules. Calendars are full. We fall into bed exhausted or in some cases it begins on the couch the first time we sit down for the evening. We wake up in the morning dreading the appointments, the practices, and the commitments that await us. Our life is so full there is little margin. People tell me, “It’s just crazy!”
When I was in college and grad school I prided myself in my ability to manage margins. Every paper I wrote, and there were dozens, I became more skilled at making sure there were plenty of margins, with ALOT to spare; I would get maximum use out of the margins.
Upon graduation, I bought into the norm that margins were bad. Only lazy people had margins. Hard-working, driven, career-minded professionals filled their margins. And so, I adapted by filling my margins. I prided myself on my ability to have no space in my calendar: top, bottom, sides were full. It became my way of measuring usefulness: my margins were as full as, if not fuller than yours.
Over ten years ago someone introduced me to the writing of Richard Swenson, Restoring Margin to Overloaded Lives. Subsequently, he has written other books on margin. He actually called my lifestyle an “Overload Syndrome.” I didn’t know whether to be offended or complimented by his claim. That is, until I started studying his principles, “Margin is the amount available beyond that which is needed. It is something held in reserves…” Uh?
I felt like I was in a entering in a Twelve Step program for Margin-less Addicts. I had to work every step; the first was admitting that I had a problem with the whole concept of having reserves in my life that would create emotional and relational health.
After twelve years of confronting my overloaded life head-on and working the steps of recovery – yes, steps four and five were brutal as I had to confess to my family what my margin-less career life meant for them – I am learning the joy of having space. In fact, I’m learning that creating space is one of the best gifts I can give to myself and to others.
Don’t get me wrong, there are moments when I look at my calendar and am tempted to think that my identity might have deeper meaning if only it were more full. Then I take a deep breath and pause, and remember that being overloaded is far from a badge of honor.
What if…we decided to manage the margins of our time?
5 Ways to Become Super Creative
Guest Blogger: M.Farouk Radwan
People mistakenly think that creativity has anything to do with genes and that’s why those who believe that they are not creative remain the way they are.
In fact creativity is nothing more than a combination of your belief system and your life style. In order to become more creative you just need to alter few of your beliefs and make some permanent changes to your life style.
In this post I will tell you about five ways that can make you super creative:
1) Creativity is related to observation: Most of the creative ideas come from observing your surroundings. Walt Disney decided to create the famous character Mickey mouse when he saw a rat wandering in his house. By learning how to spend more time observing your surroundings you will find yourself becoming more creative.
2) Creativity is hiding your sources: Einstein ones said that creativity is hiding your sources. Some people get this saying wrong and believe that they have to steal the idea so of other people but that’s completely wrong. When you observe others you will find yourself collecting a piece of information from here and a piece of information from there until you will end up with something brand new as a result of the information mixture you acquired.
3) Dedicate free time for creative thinking: Research has shown that routine is a great creativity killer. If you want to become more creative than you must dedicate some free time where you prevent yourself from being bound by any rules. During this time you can try to do the same things you used to do in a different way or to try to do things you have never done before.
4) Don’t put any constrains while thinking: Most people do the mistake of thinking of new possibilities while being constrained by certain facts. In order to become truly creative you need to think without any constrains. Even if your ideas seemed irrational in the beginning sooner or later you will bump into something that makes sense.
5) Get rid of the fear of failure: Because many people fear taking risks and fear failure they remain stuck in their comfort zones and never attempt to try anything new. Creativity is all about doing few wrong things until you find one right thing that works. If you fear taking risks then you will never try new things and you will kill your creativity.
Just as you saw creativity is not exclusive for anyone but it requires some dedication in order for someone to acquire it.
M.Farouk Rad is the Founder of http://www.2knowmyself.com
The Quest for Your Holy Grail
At the risk of offending my high school history teachers, I don’t remember anything about studying the Holy Grail. My first recollection was the humorous rendering of Monty Python and the Holy Grail; crusaders singing of spam and bridge keepers who held the key to passage (“the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow”). History tells us that quest of the Grail was fraught with danger and bloodshed. Somehow the singing Minstrels had a way of taking the edge off the violence, “He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled…” Okay! Okay!
Maybe I could glean insight from the Indian Jones series. Did the biblical artifact of the cup used to celebrate the Lord’s Supper really have supernatural powers? Indiana would confront his dad, “This is an obsession, Dad. I’ve never understood it. Never. Neither did Mom.” How true! The quest of the Holy Grail began as an obsession and was portrayed as such throughout history.
The Holy Grail is rift with legends which first appeared in Europe around 1180 and flourished until the mid-Fourteenth Century. The Grail stories emerged in German, French, and English versions were often central to the story of men who somehow wanted to connect to their spiritual path as Richard Rohr says, “in a nonacademic way.”
Legend records stories of journey turned quest; genuine myth anchored in men’s reality. Myths of the Holy Grail were reflected raw determination and focus; men would stake their life on finding it.
We face a temptation today, an apathetic shrug to great quests. Although we have a world of possibilities at our finger-tips so many people have difficulty reading meaningful patterns of our existence. Too many wander without much purpose; unsure of where to apply their talents.
When I ask people today if they could clearly articulate their purpose I often get an uncomfortable mumble in response. If given the opportunity to articulate a personal mission statement many people look at me like I’ve just asked them to describe life on Mars.
It may be difficult to express and even more challenging to face, but what may be needed is that we embark on a vision quest. To face an oft-buried desire to enter the “grail” of our interior world to find out why we are here and what we are to do.
Have you taken such a journey? Can you lean on the stories of others who have made such a quest and now live with a clarity you desire? Are there people who could challenge you to make the quest, encourage you along the way, and cheer you on when you return?
What if…you chose the quest to find your “Holy Grail?”
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