Truth and time walk hand in hand!
Do you recall certain phrases or fables which express a truth that repeatedly is revealed in your consciousness?
It may strike you at the moment but no matter what seems to happen, how much information you process, or how busy you are the basic tenant just seems to stick.
Years ago, at one of the first Leadership Summits (now called the Global Leadership Summit) I heard Mike Singletary speak. Mike was a hard-nosed, all-pro middle linebacker for the Chicago Bears. He was known for his superhuman work ethic in studying the game films of opposing teams. He was engaging and as intense in this leadership talk as he was on the gridiron. He planted a seed that day that has sprouted into one of the mantras of my life. In fact, my adult children will tell you that they’ve heard it ad nauseam.
“Truth and time walk hand in hand!”
That’s it! When I first heard it I don’t think I was stunned, blown away, or even turned to my fellow participants and said, “Have you ever heard an expression so rich?” Yet, this seed has germinated over the years and now is one of the staples of my life and one I share with my coaching clients.
“Truth and time walk hand in hand!”
If we are patient…If we trust…If we just wait…the truth will be exposed over time.
It probably won’t be revealed as quickly as we may like. It probably won’t be unraveled at the pace we may like. And when it is revealed we may not even like the effect it may generate.
The reason I struggle with this, and you may too, is that I like to be in control. I want to make sure that I am a handler of truth; dispensing it at my will, on my command. Much like my DVR, when I want it, I get it! However, life is not my remote.
Truth is a gift to be handled with integrity, with a sacred sense of honor.
Those who seek to manipulate the truth or bully others with their perception of the truth will eventually be faced with a stark reality – you can only “manage” perception for so long before the truth is revealed. Over time the real truth will be exposed. “Truth and time walk hand in hand!”
What makes this even more mysterious is that neuro-science is teaching us that the limbic part of our brain, which has no capacity for language, expresses what we just “know to be true” or “feel” or “sense.” So when someone is feeding us a line, a lie, a half-truth, or a crock of barn-kaka, there is something that doesn’t seem right. We just know at some level that what they are trying to sell is not true. Try as we may, to wade through the smoke-and-mirrors of their speech; we may just have to wait for the truth to be revealed.
I’d be interested to hear if you have ever experienced the reality of the phrase: “Truth and time walk hand in hand!”
Dump Your Ego
Is egoistic behavior as an expression of weakness?
Guest Blog: Ran Zilca
Dumping your ego is hard, because it’s hard to even admit you have one.
“Me? I don’t have an ego. I’m a nice guy! What are you trying to say? What nonsense have you been reading?” I’ve had the same response myself when I started thinking about this concept. A kind, well-mannered person like myself? I have no ego! (or was that actually my ego talking…?)
Let me try to explain what I mean. I see the ego is an outer shell, an external layer of protection that is built over the years. It is the belief in our self-importance that in turn reassures us that we know better and do better than anyone else. In simple words, our ego helps us lie to ourselves so we can feel better.
The cost of this “comprehensive protection package” is a much distorted perception of reality. The ego will manipulate what we see with our own eyes to show us that we are right, giving us immediate comfort. It’s comforting to think that others are to blame and that others mess up because they are simply not as smart as your magnificent self. Nine out of ten times when you think people plot against you, have hidden agendas, dare speak to you that way, and so on – your ego is making it up. However, the cost your ego deducts from your personal happiness and inner peace is very real. Research shows that people who are grateful, generous, and forgiving (“weak” from an ego perspective) are the happiest.
From a strengths perspective, I see egoistic behavior as an expression of weakness. People who are truly strong are kind, empathetic, and compassionate. Once you build some inner strength it’s time to take the next step and peel off your ego and simply be yourself. Practice random acts of kindness to people you don’t know. Help people who don’t expect your help. Be generous when it makes the least sense to. Respond to aggression with forgiveness. Be important, not self-important. You can’t keep your eyes on the road and the scenery if you keep checking your looks in the mirror. Ride Safe.
Ran Zilca is the CEO of Signal Patterns, developers of assessment and positive psychology applications. Ran’s background covers R&D leadership roles including analytics, biometrics, and software development. In addition to blogging he has authored patents and scientific journal and conference papers. His latest endeavor is learning about life “on the back of motorcycle.” www.RideOfYourLife.com
Notice the Ashes
There will be people today who choose to celebrate this day, Ash Wednesday – the beginning of Lent – by having ashes placed on their forehead. Lent begins a forty day season in the Liturgical Church Year where people are encouraged to give attention to their inner journey of faith. While this is mostly practiced by mainline denominations around the world, the rest of us can take notice.
The familiar Lenten question is, “What are you giving up for Lent?” That is a good question but it isn’t the real focus of the season. Giving up seems to direct the focus toward us; making self-denial and our ability to control life and our future, the actual goal. Yet, that was not the genesis of this season.
Ironically, Lent falls when winter and spring vie for dominance in the weather pattern. The symbolism is stark. What will vie for our attention?
At some level we know there are the noisy din of voices that in some fashion shout that we are no good, ugly, worthless, despicable, or nobody – unless we can somehow demonstrate the opposite. These negative voices are so loud and persistent that it is easy to believe them. If we approach self-denial, or Lent for that matter, with the goal of proving that we are somebody and that if we just do a little more, then our efforts will only suffice to fuel the negative voices.
So what’s the point with ashes?
Ashes, from the burned branches of last year’s Palm Sunday celebration are placed on the forehead as a symbolic gesture signifying that we are human; finite and mortal. This isn’t meant to be morbid. Rather, it is meant to limit our grandiosity and help us stay in touch with the real human condition that we all share. Reminding us that everything we work for turns to ash in the end. It’s a challenge to admit that everything we worked for eventually turns to ash, but as a friend told me, “it’s also liberating. It frees us from the misplaced and destructive notion that we are defined by our achievements and lauded because of our accomplishments.”
Today, if you see someone with ashes on their forehead, take a moment to notice!
Spend a couple of minutes reflecting on the voices that get your attention. Be aware of what may be driving you. And, if you dare, stay with the silence long enough to listen to a still, small voice that may be calling you to something deeper, something more true. It just may be calling your heart to a real place of rest.
What Are People Wishing You?
It could be just happenstance but in more instances than not this season I’ve been wished a ”Merry Christmas.” I’m not sure what that’s all about but I’m noticing.
What are you hearing?
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