Dynamics of a Transformational Person (4of4)
This is the fourth of four BLOGS dedicated to reflecting more of the “why” of being a transformational person. My premise is that if someone understands the “why” being of transformational person it will inspire them and give them sustainability.
Transformational people are externally-open!
Let’s set the stage. Being someone who is externally-open does NOT mean you need to be an extrovert nor be a person who is non-principled or can be easily swayed. Rather, it means having an openness to learn and become aware (of yourself and situations around you).
When I served as the general manager of a conference center we continually stressed the importance of being open to new ideas or processes. It didn’t matter if the process made sense and would make the job more efficient, there was some type of push-back – some more intense than others – that the new approach would make matters worse or even damage morale. We also taught our employees that owning a mistake and displaying a willingness to learn from it revealed emotional maturity and should be pursued. Yet, they would remind us how difficult it was to avoid the first response to blame someone else or lie to avoid responsibility.
We humans share a common trait, we go to great lengths to defend the status-quo or what we perceive as “normal.” Routine is not bad; mindless routine is. Consistency is beneficial; mindless consistency is debilitating. Defending a principle is not bad; being closed-minded is. The question is, “Are you open?”
How do I know if I am internally-closed? Evaluate your response when change is suggested, constructive criticism is offered, or your point of view challenged. Do you roll your eyes, huff, or mumble under your breath, “Whatever!”? Do you feel yourself shutting down; not listening? Are you preparing your defense instead of using your energy to listen and learn? Do you find yourself blaming others, passing the buck, or repeatedly saying, “No!” If you do, these are signs that you may be bordering on being internally-closed.
Transformational people – who are pursuing inner transformation and a new normal – choose a different perspective. They intentionally put rhythms in their life to support the “why”: they seek to become people who are externally-open.
- They are aware of their tendency to resist anything that challenges their “normal” and make conscious decisions to become more aware of themselves and the situations they are in
- They become avid learners of themselves
- They seek feedback and look for the kernels of truth
- They are open to the possibilities of being challenged
- They take themselves less seriously and are open to more enjoyment and fun
If you to take some steps on becoming a transformational person, step four is to intentionally look for ways to be open. When you know the “why” your “how” and “what” will have the right inspiration and direction.
What if… you took the opportunity to become aware and open to learn?
Dynamics of a Transformational Person (1of4)
If you type in “Transformational Leadership” into Wikipedia you’ll find four distinct elements described as action steps of someone desiring to be an agent of change, with individuals or a social system. While I believe there is merit in learning about “how” and “what” to do as a transformational leader it misses the basic foundational principles of transformation.
I’m dedicating four blog posts that will reflect more of the “why” of being a transformational person.
My premise is that if someone understands the “why” being of transformational person it will sustain them, inspire them, and give them sustainability. “What” and “how” – the method – may vary, but “why” is the fuel for the jet engine.
Transformational people know their purpose!
The antitheses of people who are purpose-centered are people who are comfort-centered. Their “normal” is the path of least resistance. Comfort and ease are the default. For instance, when someone cuts you off in traffic what’s your initial reaction? Just last week I must have given someone the impression I was cutting them off and I got “the finger” for over a mile. I challenged his perception of normal. (He challenged mine. I noticed a small part of me wanted to ram him.) Apparently he and I both felt as if we owned the road and his path was not going to be deterred by anyone. Sound familiar?
It’s sounds so trite but that often happens when protecting our path of comfort. When our comfort is challenged, we react.
Transformational people - who are pursuing inner transformation and a new normal – choose a different perspective. They intentionally put rhythms in their life to support the “why”: they know their purpose.
- They have a clear definition of life that gives them meaning and directs their actions. They know where they are going. It doesn’t mean they are pushovers. It means they can embrace a detour or a challenge (yes, even on the road) because it doesn’t affect their purpose.
- They have a personal mission that not only provides direction but also gives them focus and consistency.
- They have a “due north” by which they can set positive, challenging, and self-chosen goals.
If you want to take some steps on becoming a transformational person, step one is to know your purpose; be clear about your mission in life. When you know the “why” your “how” and “what” will have the right inspiration and direction.
What if… you knew your purpose?
Transforming: Honest Talk About Sexual Struggles
Guest Blog: Timothy F. Hogan, Psy.D. PLLC & Randy Hermann MA, LLPC
If you have the courage to take a look at your sexual struggles you undoubtedly know changing unhealthy sexual thinking and behavior is hard.
Since the two of us focus our time with men, we will look at this from a male perspective. However, we think females may not be much different.
Most men – whether they “go to church” or avoid it like the plague – who struggle sexually report multiple attempts to “clean up” this area of their lives. Yet, most have stories of repeated failure.
Why is change so hard?
The primary reason for this is that the path to freedom is not a straight line. It is not something that can be grasped directly. There are no quick fixes. In fact, most men learn that traditional disciplines (try harder, think differently), even spiritual disciplines (Bible study, fasting, prayer, etc.) do not deliver men into sexual health. Accountability groups aren’t working either for the long term.
What should a man do?
The first step towards sexual freedom is to find a vision for sexual health. Sexual health is much bigger than what a man stops doing. Healthy sexuality is all about helping a man answer the question, “What kind of man do you want to be?”
The next important step is to help men understand what is the motivation. Men need to understand how sexualized thoughts and behaviors have become a way to medicate unwanted or painful emotions. In order to understand how this is working, men often need to revisit their stories, especially the times and circumstances that helped to create the unwanted behaviors. Men only find freedom after they uncover the implicit decisions they have made to not feel painful or unwanted emotions, even “good” emotions sometimes. So uncomfortable and unaware are men regarding their feelings, even emotions from positive life events can trigger old, unwanted behaviors.
Long-term recovery often demands that men reconstruct their lives, so that there is space for them to experience and work through their stress in a new way. This often involves integrating new ways to connect with their bodies through movement and exercise, connecting with their partners and friends through more honest dialogue and, we believe it includes connecting with God through new, more honest methods of prayer.
Most men find freedom with the guidance of some professional help along the way. Untangling a lifetime of self-medication through sexual fantasies and behaviors is neither simple nor obvious.
Contact Tim:www.growinghealthypassion.com
Contact Randy: www.sexaddiction-recovery.org
They practice at Grace Counseling Center – Detroit, MI
Celebrate What’s Right with the World
As I return from a few days enjoying northern Michigan I was pleased to see that I received an email from my friend Pete Emhoff that simply read: You will not want to miss this. Takes 20 minutes, but is worth it. http://www.celebratetraining.com
When Pete talks/writes, I listen.
So I settled into one of my mobile offices, Uptown Coffeehouse, yesterday afternoon. The header of the site intrigued me – Celebrate What’s Right with the World. I plugged in my headphones, and hit “play.” What I experienced in the twenty or so minutes left me both speechless and inspired.
I wasn’t prepared for the message of James DeWitt, a photographer for National Geographic. He is a teacher at heart: vulnerable, artistic, and passionate. His message is simple: make the choice – in every moment – to celebrate what’s right with the world.
Before you chalk this up as some cheesy-touchy-feely piece, hear me out. This isn’t like the emails I get with PowerPoint synthesized music and clip art. This is a genuine, professional done PREVIEW of a lengthy work designed to inspire and educate. And because I enjoy learning I took three pages of notes (I know, not a surprise!).
DeWitt identifies the conflict with adapting the approach he proposes; citing that it is easy to succumb to the mentality of fear, scarcity, and competition. On the other hand, if we choose to celebrate and see the beauty and possibilities in every situation it will transform us.
So here’s the teaser or for some of you who may not take the time to view his work, the point he is seeking to make:
If we celebrate what is right in the world it will change our vision:
- It will keep us open to possibilities
- It will give us energy and connect us with our passion
- It will make us more accepting of change
You might guess that I identified with the message celebrate what’s right with the world. It reminds me of a first century well-educated Jewish leader who debated with the philosophers of Mars Hill and wrote encouraging letters to people around the world. Here’s what he wrote, “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
If you take the time to watch the piece, leave a comment and let me know what you think.
Being a Change Agent
Systems are an essential part of a successful business…and actually a part of life.
In the midst of executing the systems, it might be easy to fall into the mental trap of thinking everything is “business as usual.” After all, once the system is in place everything and everyone will be in order and function according to plan, right? Not really! Whether you find yourself fulfilling a task outlined in the Systems Manual, fixing an emergency problem, or following trough on a commitment, the best approach to take is that of being ready and willing to manage change.
Success – measured by being both *smart and healthy – in any environment requires flexibility and adaptability. There will be new developments, human systems advancements or challenges all of which will call for new behavioral responses. What matters is how we handle the change process itself.
Is the remedy to brace yourself for change? No…you’ll never be fully ready. The answer lies in loosening up and rolling with the flow.
Flexibility is an important key to being a good change agent. For some of us, this will come easy, in fact too easy. Flexibility may mean honoring a system in order to learn its function in order to adapt to change. For others of us this will be mighty difficult. We don’t like our world rocked or our systems challenged. After all, they work. So flexibility will be a challenging stretch. Wherever we might fall on this continuum we will need to face the way we handle change and how we communicate with those in the process with us.
What does it look like for you to be a change agent?
- *smart: strategy, marketing, finance, technology
- *healthy: morale, productivity, clarity, productive community
Reserve Your Free Consultation!
mark@whatifenterprises.com
Openings Are Filling Quickly!On the Social Web
